People ask why I don't plan to retire.
Partly, it is stories like this one.
Sorry Marty, but this one is even longer.
A customer of mine, a very conservative sort who doesn't really embellish tales or enjoy joking for entertainment, told me this one. Due to his nature, I'm 100% sure he didn't exaggerate:
He was called in to treat a carpet for urine odor. A polite and lovely lady answered the door, while her slob of a husband sat on the couch drinking a beer. When my customer brought out his UV Light, the husband suddenly got up, and started to tell his wife to throw the cleaner out, because he's probably pulling out all that gear to have an excuse to rip them off for a lot of money.
The woman told him to back off and let my customer do his job. Then the slob started saying that the odor was from her two "GD little rat dogs" and he should just spray everything down and not do all his "CSI stuff"
The cleaner was ready to leave, but the woman implored for him to stay and do his inspection.
He couldn't find anything in the usually places, but as he walked up the hallway, he found a lot of urine on the carpet and wall in the middle of the hall.
Made no sense
Then he ran the light up the wall, to a laundry chute. There was urine staining around the opening as well as down the wall, and of course the carpet.
At this point he noticed the previously obnoxious husband peeking sheepishly around the corner.
His wife asked the cleaner:
"Does this mean the urine was this high (the chute was obviously higher than her two little dogs could reach)?"
When the cleaner confirmed this, she gestured for her now crestfallen husband to come over and explain himself.
What came out was that, while she was away, him and his buddies had put a bucket at the bottom of the chute and were urinating down it to save going all the way to the bathroom during a football game that they were watching.
Thus his concern about the inspection light.
The woman then asked the cleaner what he charged for just the inspection, and when he told her his minimum charge, she gladly paid him.
He asked about doing the job itself, and she said:
"No need for that. He's repainting the hallway, and buying me new carpet. Or he's going to find another place to live"
